Written by Mark Clements
Last year, when I was first beginning to present “The Hard Truth About PLCs” my wife and I had been married for a little over a month. Like many newlyweds we were doing fantastic and having a great time as we acclimated to living together…but we were working out some kinks as many newlyweds do – mostly stemming from my utter hatred for doing dishes!
In each of these presentations I handed out feedback cards and asked the audience to share their thoughts on the presentation, with one twist. I also asked them “What marriage advice do you have for the newlywed?” The responses were beneficial and at times, humorous.
As I type this I’m proud to say that my wife and I are as happy as ever. I’m also ashamed to say that I’ve not grown any fonder of helping with the dishes, so perhaps writing this will help me recommit to that. Beyond plates and silverware, the other major themes seemed to be communication and respect – two things I’d like to think I do a better job with than the dishes. Oh, and doing whatever she says blindly with no questions asked. J
What do you think? Did the guests of “The Hard Truth About PLCs” get it right? In no particular order, here are there responses to the question “What advice do you have for the newlywed?”
- Lifetime commitment – divorce is NOT an option. There will be tough times, but don’t give up, the end product is worth it!
- Create quality time for you and your wife. Carve that time out and hold on to it!If there is no communication, it’s never going to work. Keep the lines open and don’t let the fact you’re married get in the way!
- She is always right!
- Try to be romantic sometimes. Do things that surprise her and find common hobbies as well as separate ones. Kiss everyday, real kisses. Kiss, hug and say you love her all the time and mean it!
- Do stuff that you may think does not need to be done…take out the trash even though it’s not overflowing. Do the dishes even if the sink is only half full. BONUS Try doing it without being asked. You are welcome. J
- Do what your wife says.
- Listen to each other, know you’re both going to make mistakes- LEARN from them and grow! Know that things WILL change as you go on.
- Let her make all the little decisions she wants that way you can make the big ones.
- Communicate and do more than your share.
- Always do what your wife says!
- Keep going out on dates, at least twice a month.
- Enjoy every moment!
- Love is work – A decision to do what’s necessary.
- Keep the communication up.
- It’s not important to be right – took me too long to figure this out!
- Marriage is a journey, be equal partners. Grow together, do things together, learn to enjoy each other’s uniqueness.
- Communication is a must and live everyday like it is the last.
- Women like to be heard.
- Laugh together often.
- When frustrated, do something productive around the house – it will make both of you happy and then you can talk minus the emotion.
- “Yes dear.” – Learn it, live it, just kidding, although it helps. J Make sure to communicate as often as possible.
- Buy a dishwasher, Edunator!
- Find a common activity, hobby, or like to do on a regular basis. Make time for your spouse.
- Don’t focus on the small things.
- Do the dishes and pick up your dirty clothes!
- There will be hard times – you really have to persevere and make a conscious decision to stay in the marriage – leaving is not an option!
- Don’t buy anything over $100 on your own. Don’t forget you married your FRIEND!
- Keep your humor and enjoy every minute!
- Don’t let fights last – talk it out.
- Marriage is commitment – commitment is loving your imperfect spouse unconditionally.
- Your wife is always right!
- Keep doing those dishes!